Post by BlackMage5072 on May 2, 2011 2:54:02 GMT
WWE Extreme Rules 2011:
Well, fresh off of Extreme Rules 2011, let's get this review started.
1.) Randy Orton vs. CM Punk - Last Man Standing Match: Uhh....... two year build up...... biggest feud on Raw..... and this fucking match is FIRST? REALLY? WHY? What the hell is the matter with the booking team? Hello! This isn't fucking intelligent booking... no wonder CM Punk wants to fuckin' leave WWE. Last time he was up first, Undertaker squashed his ass. So, CM Punk comes out, and the anonymous Raw GM fucking interrupts this match by banning New Nexus from ringside... yeah, like we didn't see that coming. Too bad YOU CAN'T DO THAT, it's a no-rules fucking match! GOD this is stupid as fuck... and this match hasn't even STARTED yet! Orton looks more like a rapist than Kurt Angle did. CM Punk starts the match by removing the steel turnbuckle... something's gonna happen there. Starts off pretty well, decent pace. Really good stuff with the singapore canes, not a weapon we see a lot. The match continued at a rather good pace, not too slow, not too fast. Very well done from these two guys, not much of a wrestling match. Orton no-sells the fucking GTS by moving immediately after he gets hit with it, great move burial there, WWE. Punk gets hit with an RKO and doesn't move until SIX. That's how you sell a move, guys... Punk and Orton really did a good job on this match, I was into it the entire time... CM Punk goes down to a Super RKO from Super Orton. He's getting just as bad as Cena... Good match though. 3.5/5.
They review the draft, and they completely ignore the fact that Mark Henry was moved! Hahahaha!
2.) Sheamus vs. Kofi Kingston - Tables Match for the US Title: Bonus match! Thanks Teddy! This match starts off with a great pace as well, it's a SDvR match, if Kofi wins, he takes a mid-card title to Raw, which currently has none. Lots of table psychology, both by Sheamus and Kofi. I think I counted four tables being pulled out at different times, these guys worked pretty well together, though the match DID get a little slow at times. Sheamus actually used the table AS a weapon, which isn't seen much, I liked it. The crowd was dead for most of this match, and I can't really see why. Both guys performed really well, it's the best I've seen Sheamus look in recent memory, and Kofi pulled a couple interesting spots during the match that I really enjoyed. The ending spot was great, with a super boom drop from the top rope through Sheamus through a table on the floor. The only problem with this is that Sheamus just got the title... just to drop it to Kofi, who's once again, a midcard champion, never elevating any higher. Sheamus looks kinda weak with the booking, but definitely not during the match. Great match. 3/5.
Interview time with R-Truth... I'm REALLY liking heel R-Truth. It's workin' well.
3.) Jerry Lawler/Jim Ross vs. Michael Cole/Jack Swagger - Tag Team Country Whippin' Match: Michael Cole comes out dressed in bubble wrap. I'm SERIOUS. It's fucking retarded. More retarded than Duct Tape. Michael Cole needs throat cancer to become malignant in the worst way. Not gonna lie... Jim Ross actually looks REALLY intimidating with a leather belt in his hand. There is also no way to make this match enjoyable. It's such a shame too, because I really like Swagger. I think he's a great athlete and performer, and he doesn't deserve this. Either way, this match sucked. JR actually pulled an ankle lock. That was funny. Cole gets the win by rolling up JR. No one cares. 0/5.
Interview time with John Cena... he has to remind us that it's been 10 months since he's been WWE Champion. And I hope it lasts fucking longer. Shut up, Cena, I'm done with your fuckin' ass. I hope he gets injured and spends a year on the shelf.
4.) Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes - Falls Count Anywhere Match: The fact that this match gets the theme song during its promo just shows how far Cody Rhodes has come in the business. Great buildup to this match, mainly thanks to Cody taking his character to a new, dark level. Loving the paper bag thing, too. This match started off really hot, spilling to the outside quickly. They fought through the crowd, great use of the FCA stipulation, Cody Rhodes even hit a lion tamer with the guardrail, really liked it. They took the fight to the concession stands. They got a holy shit move from a springboard kick, which was stupid, but I think it was more the fact that the back of Rey's head hit the fucking concrete solid. They even got a "This is awesome chant", but I think they were just marks. The match was very good, though. The match finally gets back into the ring, continuing the great pace these two kept up. These guys work VERY well together, not as good as their WM match, but still great nonetheless. Rey wins with green mist??? Nice! 619 and a splash later, 1-2-3. GREAT match. 3.5/5. Booker T gets bonus points for making a Great Muta reference!!
Michael Cole returns to commentary... my ears are crying.
5.) Layla vs. Michelle McCool - No Holds Barred Loser Leaves WWE Match: The fans DO NOT CARE about this match. And neither do I. Both Michelle and Layla hit their finishers in the match, and the fans don't even recognize 'em. That shows how much the fans care. This match went on way too long. Layla wins by reversing a pinfall attempt after Michelle's Fatebreaker. Well... better than the tag match. 0/5. Bonus! OH SHIT! KONG ARRIVES! Too bad the fans don't even fucking CARE. Do they realize what the fuck is coming down to the ring? Divas: You've been put on notice. Kong's here to beat the shit out of everyone.
6.) Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio - Ladder Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Crowd is 100% Christian. Lots of good spots and nice intensity with the ladder psychology. Excellent psychology with Del Rio constantly working the arm of Christian. The match was a little slow paced compared to most ladder matches. Christian also pulled a Spear, did it better than Edge! =D Also, Christian is made of rubber. He was actually able to slide between two steps of the ladder in one of the spots. Cross Armbreaker through the ladder, great spot there. Edge arrives in a Hummer to distract Del Rio. Christian wins the ladder match and for the first time, is a World Champion in WWE. You deserve it, Christian. Good ladder match, just a little slow paced at times. 3/5
Randy Orton movie plug. Fuck it.
7.) Big Show/Kane vs. Barrett/Jackson - Tag Team Lumberjack Match for the Tag Team Titles: This match is only here as the cooldown between the two title matches. Big Show and Kane retain, since Barrett tagged himself into the match and attempted to Wasteland Big Show. Better than the divas match. 1/5.
8.) The Miz vs. John Morrison vs. John Cena - Triple Threat Cage Match for the WWE Championship: Morrison comes out to no reaction. Cena comes out to... a pop? Wow, I'm not used to that. Miz comes out to no reaction. Stupid ass crowd... you should boo at least SOMEONE. Match starts off very quickly, crowd gets hot at Miz AFTER his intro... morons. Big pro-Cena crowd during this match, I'm NOT used to that reaction, haha. Still got booed during the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Good pace of storytelling and match dictation, Miz took a SICK bump during a double superplex off the cage. Hope he's got no long-term injuries after that. Morrison took it to another level in this match, Miz really earned his stripes here, and Cena was just Cena. Not a bad cage match, I must say, slowed down quite a bit at times, which is expected in a cage match. Truth interferes in the match, screwing Morrison out of the title, which builds on that feud big time. John Cena wins. Now we get to listen to fucking Cena's "DUH CHAMP IS HEEYA" promos for the next year... OTHER than the ending sucking with Cena winning, this was a good cage match. 2.5/5.
Best Match - CM Punk/Randy Orton
Worst Match: Tie: Country Whippin' Match and Divas match.
Loudest pop - Edge arriving via hummer.
Quietest moment - Tie: Country Whippin' Match and Divas match.
Well, fresh off of Extreme Rules 2011, let's get this review started.
1.) Randy Orton vs. CM Punk - Last Man Standing Match: Uhh....... two year build up...... biggest feud on Raw..... and this fucking match is FIRST? REALLY? WHY? What the hell is the matter with the booking team? Hello! This isn't fucking intelligent booking... no wonder CM Punk wants to fuckin' leave WWE. Last time he was up first, Undertaker squashed his ass. So, CM Punk comes out, and the anonymous Raw GM fucking interrupts this match by banning New Nexus from ringside... yeah, like we didn't see that coming. Too bad YOU CAN'T DO THAT, it's a no-rules fucking match! GOD this is stupid as fuck... and this match hasn't even STARTED yet! Orton looks more like a rapist than Kurt Angle did. CM Punk starts the match by removing the steel turnbuckle... something's gonna happen there. Starts off pretty well, decent pace. Really good stuff with the singapore canes, not a weapon we see a lot. The match continued at a rather good pace, not too slow, not too fast. Very well done from these two guys, not much of a wrestling match. Orton no-sells the fucking GTS by moving immediately after he gets hit with it, great move burial there, WWE. Punk gets hit with an RKO and doesn't move until SIX. That's how you sell a move, guys... Punk and Orton really did a good job on this match, I was into it the entire time... CM Punk goes down to a Super RKO from Super Orton. He's getting just as bad as Cena... Good match though. 3.5/5.
They review the draft, and they completely ignore the fact that Mark Henry was moved! Hahahaha!
2.) Sheamus vs. Kofi Kingston - Tables Match for the US Title: Bonus match! Thanks Teddy! This match starts off with a great pace as well, it's a SDvR match, if Kofi wins, he takes a mid-card title to Raw, which currently has none. Lots of table psychology, both by Sheamus and Kofi. I think I counted four tables being pulled out at different times, these guys worked pretty well together, though the match DID get a little slow at times. Sheamus actually used the table AS a weapon, which isn't seen much, I liked it. The crowd was dead for most of this match, and I can't really see why. Both guys performed really well, it's the best I've seen Sheamus look in recent memory, and Kofi pulled a couple interesting spots during the match that I really enjoyed. The ending spot was great, with a super boom drop from the top rope through Sheamus through a table on the floor. The only problem with this is that Sheamus just got the title... just to drop it to Kofi, who's once again, a midcard champion, never elevating any higher. Sheamus looks kinda weak with the booking, but definitely not during the match. Great match. 3/5.
Interview time with R-Truth... I'm REALLY liking heel R-Truth. It's workin' well.
3.) Jerry Lawler/Jim Ross vs. Michael Cole/Jack Swagger - Tag Team Country Whippin' Match: Michael Cole comes out dressed in bubble wrap. I'm SERIOUS. It's fucking retarded. More retarded than Duct Tape. Michael Cole needs throat cancer to become malignant in the worst way. Not gonna lie... Jim Ross actually looks REALLY intimidating with a leather belt in his hand. There is also no way to make this match enjoyable. It's such a shame too, because I really like Swagger. I think he's a great athlete and performer, and he doesn't deserve this. Either way, this match sucked. JR actually pulled an ankle lock. That was funny. Cole gets the win by rolling up JR. No one cares. 0/5.
Interview time with John Cena... he has to remind us that it's been 10 months since he's been WWE Champion. And I hope it lasts fucking longer. Shut up, Cena, I'm done with your fuckin' ass. I hope he gets injured and spends a year on the shelf.
4.) Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes - Falls Count Anywhere Match: The fact that this match gets the theme song during its promo just shows how far Cody Rhodes has come in the business. Great buildup to this match, mainly thanks to Cody taking his character to a new, dark level. Loving the paper bag thing, too. This match started off really hot, spilling to the outside quickly. They fought through the crowd, great use of the FCA stipulation, Cody Rhodes even hit a lion tamer with the guardrail, really liked it. They took the fight to the concession stands. They got a holy shit move from a springboard kick, which was stupid, but I think it was more the fact that the back of Rey's head hit the fucking concrete solid. They even got a "This is awesome chant", but I think they were just marks. The match was very good, though. The match finally gets back into the ring, continuing the great pace these two kept up. These guys work VERY well together, not as good as their WM match, but still great nonetheless. Rey wins with green mist??? Nice! 619 and a splash later, 1-2-3. GREAT match. 3.5/5. Booker T gets bonus points for making a Great Muta reference!!
Michael Cole returns to commentary... my ears are crying.
5.) Layla vs. Michelle McCool - No Holds Barred Loser Leaves WWE Match: The fans DO NOT CARE about this match. And neither do I. Both Michelle and Layla hit their finishers in the match, and the fans don't even recognize 'em. That shows how much the fans care. This match went on way too long. Layla wins by reversing a pinfall attempt after Michelle's Fatebreaker. Well... better than the tag match. 0/5. Bonus! OH SHIT! KONG ARRIVES! Too bad the fans don't even fucking CARE. Do they realize what the fuck is coming down to the ring? Divas: You've been put on notice. Kong's here to beat the shit out of everyone.
6.) Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio - Ladder Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Crowd is 100% Christian. Lots of good spots and nice intensity with the ladder psychology. Excellent psychology with Del Rio constantly working the arm of Christian. The match was a little slow paced compared to most ladder matches. Christian also pulled a Spear, did it better than Edge! =D Also, Christian is made of rubber. He was actually able to slide between two steps of the ladder in one of the spots. Cross Armbreaker through the ladder, great spot there. Edge arrives in a Hummer to distract Del Rio. Christian wins the ladder match and for the first time, is a World Champion in WWE. You deserve it, Christian. Good ladder match, just a little slow paced at times. 3/5
Randy Orton movie plug. Fuck it.
7.) Big Show/Kane vs. Barrett/Jackson - Tag Team Lumberjack Match for the Tag Team Titles: This match is only here as the cooldown between the two title matches. Big Show and Kane retain, since Barrett tagged himself into the match and attempted to Wasteland Big Show. Better than the divas match. 1/5.
8.) The Miz vs. John Morrison vs. John Cena - Triple Threat Cage Match for the WWE Championship: Morrison comes out to no reaction. Cena comes out to... a pop? Wow, I'm not used to that. Miz comes out to no reaction. Stupid ass crowd... you should boo at least SOMEONE. Match starts off very quickly, crowd gets hot at Miz AFTER his intro... morons. Big pro-Cena crowd during this match, I'm NOT used to that reaction, haha. Still got booed during the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Good pace of storytelling and match dictation, Miz took a SICK bump during a double superplex off the cage. Hope he's got no long-term injuries after that. Morrison took it to another level in this match, Miz really earned his stripes here, and Cena was just Cena. Not a bad cage match, I must say, slowed down quite a bit at times, which is expected in a cage match. Truth interferes in the match, screwing Morrison out of the title, which builds on that feud big time. John Cena wins. Now we get to listen to fucking Cena's "DUH CHAMP IS HEEYA" promos for the next year... OTHER than the ending sucking with Cena winning, this was a good cage match. 2.5/5.
Best Match - CM Punk/Randy Orton
Worst Match: Tie: Country Whippin' Match and Divas match.
Loudest pop - Edge arriving via hummer.
Quietest moment - Tie: Country Whippin' Match and Divas match.
